bye, bye binky…
A couple months ago I shared with my social media mommy-friends that my husband and I would soon be attempting to wean our daughter off the pacifier.
I was never “against” pacifiers and all of my children have been offered them once it was “safe” to do so (and by safe I mean, not so soon that it interrupted my breastfeeding by causing nipple confusion).
With my oldest son we never had to go through a weaning process, fortunately. We went out of town when he was about one and a half and lost it. It was his nap time and we really didn’t feel like going out to by a new one so, that was that. I honestly can’t recall him making a peep about it. This is probably why I had no apprehension whatsoever offer the pacifier to the twins.
My youngest son didn’t care too much for it. He had it for a few months, but when we started sleep training he switched to his fingers - for better or for worse. Lol. My daughter on the other hand - OBSESSED. The pacifier was as much a part of her as anything else.
Full disclosure, the pandemic really created a strange time warp situation where I swear I blinked and months had gone by. I was on autopilot it seemed, so I never even realized how quickly we were approaching their first birthday… the original date for weaning the pacifier. When the thought crossed my mind I was like hell-to-the-naw… can’t do it right now. That said, the girl was literally walking around and “talking” with the thing hanging out of her mouth like a cigarette. Drooling etc. So while I wasn’t ready to wean her fully, we did limit the pacifier to the crib.
Surprisingly that wasn’t nearly as bad as I anticipated and since the pacifier was largely out of sight, it was also out of mind. Until… I realized it was having an impact on her teeth.
Long story short, we set a goal of getting rid of the pacifier altogether by two. And then… that came and went. I psyched myself out into thinking it would be some long drawn out, awful situation because that is what people kept telling me. So I wanted to perfectly time the process. Why I think there is a such thing as a “perfect” time is beyond me… but I did. I decided it would be the new year because the twins are “supposed” to be starting daycare soon (more on that later - sigh), and I don’t want her there with a pacifier.
Anyhow - it has been about a week and I think I can safely say we did it. Successfully. So I’m sharing what we did for anyone interested! :)
1) Prepare them for the transition - A month or so ago we started preparing my daughter for the transition and told her that her pacifier was going bye-bye soon. I think she understood because she looked like she was about to cry as she repeated me “paci go bye-bye soon?”… half question, half wtf. We probably didn’t need to start so early with the preparation because she started saying it like a joke “paci go bye-bye soon...?? lol”. I could just feel she was taunting us. Haha! So, start preparing your little a couple weeks before. 2
2) More preparation - As part of that prep, I ordered two books - No More Pacifier, Duck (Hello Genius) by Michael Dahl, and Bye, Bye, Binky by Maria Van Lieshout. I’m not even going to lie, I had these book for three days before we started the weaning process. I didn’t think to get them until someone recommended doing so, but I do think it was a cute way to get her that much more “prepared” and excited.
3) Pick your tactic - If you have never had to wean a child from a pacifier before you have probably seen a couple different ways suggested - cold turkey or slow wean (moving on to bed time only for example). As part of these options you can try implementing a “ceremony” to commemorate the process. You can incorporate a binky fairy, you can give the pacifiers to another baby (not for them to actually use but for your child to see that pacifiers are for young babies, not “big kids”), you can tie the pacifier to a balloon - the list goes on and on. We did none of these. Truthfully I was just too exhausted from the holidays to do another “fairy” situation, or anything else for that matter. So… we planned to go cold-turkey. Whatever method you decide… don’t bend.
4) Time appropriately (not perfectly lol) - If possible, try to avoid weaning around any other big transitions (new sibling, move, starting daycare, etc.). It’s best if the weaning is the “only” big change your kiddo has to deal with if at all possible, particularly so they don’t negatively associate the two (or more) changes with one another.
5) Stick with your plan - Though we had already decided a date we were going to “rip the band-aid”… the binky fairies understood the assignment, and for whatever reason our daughter bit the top of her pacifier off one night - almost broke the top off altogether. It was a couple days before we had planned to wean her, and for a millisecond I contemplated giving her the backup pacifier when she was screaming for it the next day at nap-time, but I knew that would only confuse her, or make her think crying would get her what she wanted every time, so… we didn’t budge. She ended up not taking a nap that first day and I reminded her that big girls don’t need pacifiers. As night approached I started to get a little PTSD thinking we were gearing up for a night reminiscent to sleep training, but much to my surprise, she only asked for it when we first laid her down, then she went to sleep. And stayed asleep.
The next morning she was smiling ear-to-ear when we praised her for being such a big girl. She announced her paci went bye-bye and also told us pacis are for babies. Some people may not fully understand how proud these little moments make us parents, but to see her grasping a concept full-circle and growing more and more independent honestly makes me so proud.
Everyone’s child - and their pacifier attachment - is different, but these are some of the tips I have seen consistently across the internets, and what worked for us personally. At the end of the day it is a change like many others. It will suck in the moment, but become a little blip in time - and so worth it in the long run. :)
Happy Weaning! :)