Define spoiled…
Welp. I think we may have created a monster y’all. Not really… but… maybe. The other day I made what I thought was a nice breakfast for my five year old, waffles with a blueberry placed ever so nicely in every other square - because I rather enjoy turning meals into crafts (check the thumbnail for a tie dye number I did not so long ago…lol). Anyhow… when I presented said breakfast to him - the look of disappointment was Oscar-worthy. When I asked him what was wrong he said, “nothing is wrong… well…(pause and sigh) it’s just that I wanted French toast”….It was in that moment I realized this child legit thinks he is royalty.
I also realized how often my breakfast options growing up were Pop-Tarts, cereal, or oatmeal. Waffles and pancakes were reserved for the weekend. And I looked forward to them.
Unfortunately, the cluster f*ck that was 2020 had my husband and I overcompensating — a lot. Honestly, the overcompensating started when I found out I was having twins. We felt like so much would change for our firstborn that we went a little overboard with - everything.
Don’t get me wrong, my oldest is a good kid (most of the time…lol). He has his moments, much more now than ever before, but I think it has a lot to do with him being frustrated and not being able to express himself. That said, we are seriously trying to figure out how to reel it in with “all the things”… So that he genuinely looks forward to something and appreciates the little things.
I struggle though because, he’s five. And I’m not quite sure what to expect out of him as far as “appreciation” goes… I mean… I’m not trying to traumatize him by overloading him with even more real world ish… (eehhh hmmm social justice, racial justice, political uprising, pandemic, pandemic, pandemic, etc.) but I DO need him to understand that things don’t just come about.
We work hard. So when he complains about wanting French toast instead of waffles, or starts talking about birthday toys the DAY AFTER CHRISTMAS. I want to scream. But I feel like I can’t really get mad at anyone but myself. I mean we are literally living in a world that is breeding a generation of iPad toting, Starbucks drinking, organic this-and-that eating, instant-gratification-seeking little humans. As much as I would like to believe my child isn’t “one of them”… the truth is he kind of is. That isn’t - in and of itself - a bad thing, but when I feel like he doesn’t APPRECIATE what he has… oh… that’s when I have a problem.
Sometimes I feel like we are definitely straddling the line with him between blessed… and spoiled… so… some things are about to change around here! These are a few we know for sure we will be implementing…
1) No more empty threats - Approximately 983 times PER day, we have to ask for toys to be picked up and put away. Sometimes it happens… sometimes it doesn’t. If it doesn’t happen we threaten to throw them away, but… we don’t… because well… we paid for it. Pretty sure the kid is onto our empty threats by now, so we are going to make a point not to say things we don’t follow through on. Instead of threatening to throw them away though, we will donate them.
2) Less is more - When I was young I recall vividly being over the moon excited about the possibility of getting my “wish list” gift for my birthday or Christmas. Not a MacBook Pro, not a drone, not a $500+ PlayStation, I’m talking a My Baby Alive (which by the way I never got to enjoy because my dad broke it putting the batteries in, and online shopping wasn't a thing…lol!). Nowadays, a “My Baby Alive” would be something our kids might get on any random day of the week. Sigh. So, we gotta reel it in. Like for real. Given there are only three months between Christmas and our oldest sons’ birthday, we are planning on getting him one gift for his birthday… if anything at all. We are focusing on creating experiences, not gifting him more “things” that will end up broke up and stashed in yet another bin just as quickly as they arrived in our home. We are also going to loop grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. in to this conversation for consistency sake.
3) Hello Allowance — Last but far from least -we are going to introduce an allowance to help teach this child the value of a dollar. Now that he is at the age where he is starting to understand that you need money to buy things, we are going to make him earn some of the things he wants. Both my husband and I work in financial services so financial literacy is very near and dear to our heart. Fortunately for him, the chore list seems to be infinite…. so there are many opportunities to earn some cash around here.
These are just a few we are starting with and I’m hopeful it will make a difference and that we haven’t gone too far down the path of no return… eggghh! Let me know below if you struggle with this with your kiddies, or what ideas you have for keeping them grounded!