Time for another…
When did you know it was the right time to try for another baby? People have asked me this a time or fifty before and my answer is pretty much the same as deciding to have your first child. There is never really a “perfect” time… and even if you think you have stumbled upon one, whether or not you actually end up bringing a child into the world according to your personal timeline might be out of your control. So, whenever someone ask… my non-answer “answer” is that you have to do what feels right for you, and your family.
I always knew I wanted to be a mother, so the decision to try for baby number one was pretty “easy”… My husband and I wanted to wait until we had been married a couple years, traveled a bit (albeit, domestically for the most part…lol), felt relatively established in our careers, etc. And that’s what we did.
The decision to go from one to two, was a little harder. (And haha… we obviously went from one to three - but more on that later). Becoming a parent is a huge change. As people often say, it’s the hardest, most rewarding job ever… and when we got into a good groove with my oldest (around the two or three year mark)… I was a little (lot) nervous about disrupting that.
My husband and I had different childhood experiences when it comes to the sibling thing. I was an only child for eleven years before my brother came along. My dad was in the military and we moved often. I always wanted a “built in best friend” and I begged for a sibling for years. My parents didn’t give in (aka - make the decision completely independent of what I wanted…. lol) until they felt the timing was right for them.
My brother was six when I went away for college and we never lived together again. Needless to say, we didn’t have all that much time doing “sibling things” together under the same roof. For the most part, we both had only child experiences and our relationship over the years has been about as close as you might expect given our age gap. My husband on the other hand is a middle child. His older sister is a few years older than him, and his brother is five years younger. He has always wanted more than one child, and talks often about how much fun it was growing up with siblings.
Long story short… I wasn’t “sold” on having more than one. Sure siblings could be the best of friends, but I also know of siblings who don’t speak. I wasn’t entirely sure I wanted to take the gamble. Lol. I also didn’t think it would be a good idea for us to try for another child JUST so our son could have a playmate. Or because people asked us (every second of the day) when we were having a number two. I felt the “right” time would be when we felt like we had so much love to give, that our family wouldn’t be complete without another.
What really got me on the “Baby No. 2 train” was the passing of my grandmother. It was an incredibly hard time for my entire family, and seeing the support that my mother and all her siblings had in one another flipped a switch in me. Once I had this - epiphany so to speak - it felt so… right. Suddenly I noticed how obsessed my son was with babies (probably because all his daycare friends were becoming big brothers and big sisters…lol), and I really started to get excited at the thought of more laughter, more memories, more love.
So, we started down the path of having another… and BOOM. Twins…
That was something different, and honestly, the transition from one to three wasn’t an easy one. But more on that later…lol. So tell me in the comments below… how did you know it was time for number two (or three, etc.)?