1-3…
This post might not resonate with many, but I want to be open and honest for the people that might be able to relate. If you read my post about knowing when my husband and I felt it was the “right” time to try for another baby, then you know I was a little on the fence about having two. That said finding out we were having twins was… a lot.
I’ve talked a time or two before about my immediate feelings when we found out, and I’ll just say excitement wasn’t at the top of the list. For the first few weeks (ehhh months) it felt surreal, and I kept thinking about how much would change going from one to three overnight. Whatever I wasn’t already considering, people were sure to bring to my attention (e.g. possibly needing a bigger car, daycare costs, finances in general, lack of a social life, etc. etc.), and while it wasn’t helpful, nor was it what I needed in the moment, I kept smiling.
Of course some of those logistics crossed my mind but they seemed “solvable” and more “point in time” than what was actually consuming my thoughts… which was just having three kids - period. Navigating the emotions and personalities of three little humans. Nurturing them and ensuring that - one day - they would have a genuine desire to positively contribute to the world, and society in some way. Just all the ins and outs of raising happy little beings. We won’t even get into how much empathy I had for my son who would soon be making the transition from only child, to one of three, in a matter of months.
I worry… a lot… and I’m also over-analytical. Parenting has brought all these things to the forefront and the thought of having to work through these “challenges” - times three - was terrifying. I also despise asking for help - like literally needing help - but knowing I would soon have three kids age four and under meant I had to let that sh*t go. My husband and I were literally about to be outnumbered by our children. A baby each in our arms and another child to tend to. All of this to say, it was a struggle.
A year and a half in, I still find myself wondering if I have enough to pour into my children the way I want to. I still wonder if I’m going to get “it” right… I still think about the “challenging” aspects. But I also catch myself and try to give myself grace. Stop myself from thinking about every little thing and enjoying these little beings while they are still little. Reminding myself of the things that matter to - like really matter to them - and just giving them all I have to give. At the end of the day, whether you have one child, or ten, that is really all you can do… and try not to stress about the rest. :)
Let me know below if you struggled with any transition in particular (0-1, 1-2, etc.). I would love to hear about it!