Vaccine please…
Welp… I got my first dose of the COVID-19 vaccine last week (Pfizer for anyone wondering… ) and while I planned to share all about my positive experience yesterday, I realized that might be a little tone deaf given the latest Johnson & Johnson vaccine news. If you haven’t heard, administration of the J&J vaccine has been paused due to blood clot concerns. While the occurrence of severe side effects appears to be extremely rare, it further emphasizes the need to do your own research and make a decision that feels best for you.
For me, the biggest deciding factor was my mental sanity and having the chance to get back some semblance of normalcy. Not to mention finally being able to expand my bubble beyond the seven people currently in it (myself, husband, kids and my parents).
For the past 13 months my husband, myself, and the kiddies have been social distancing like champs. Literally following the CDC guidelines to a T… skipping outings, visits with family, celebrations, weddings, trips, birthday parties, etc. etc.. I know of people personally affected by COVID… including my grandfather who spent Christmas in the hospital and survived only by the grace of God (and very likely his guardian angel - my grandmother).
Our kids have been home since last March, and we have tried our best to exercise as much patience as humanly possible given the circumstances (though we don’t always succeed). I recall, many times, telling people that we were living the way we were for the people who couldn’t. The people who wished they could work from home, but somehow became frontline essential workers, the high-risk people who were terrified to go to the grocery store… etc. etc. I want to do my part - albeit small - towards getting us out of the clusterf*ck that is this pandemic.
It goes without saying that last year was incredibly challenging for so many people, and I would be remiss not to acknowledge how fortunate we were, and continue to be, through it all. I don’t need to continue running down a list of “sacrifices” we have had to make the past year, but I will say that there were many times that were incredibly isolating, and lonely, and depressing AF. I was anxious and constantly wondering if we were doing the “right” thing.
I have always been a bit type-A (aka a control freak… egghh) and a “rule” follower. But 2020 blew all that sh*t out the water. I was constantly operating in the gray space and that ish was hard. Never before can I recall a time where no decision I made felt “great”… never before did I feel so “judged” when making choices that I felt were best for my family. Never before have I felt such an overwhelming responsibility to protect the health of myself, my family, and literal strangers on the street (because…well I’m an empath…). All that to say… I’m exhausted… just like we all are…
Given all of the above, the best “solution” for myself and my family was to get vaccinated. Even though our kids aren’t able to do the same just yet, we are viewing it as another layer of protection for them, vs. a “selfish” decision as parents. Fortunately so many of the people we love and are so desperate to see (and hug), are “Team Vaccine” and we have had the benefit of going through this together. We had firsthand conversations with family in the medical field, we compared notes, shared articles, reviewed data and legislative docs, discussed pros and cons, and shared anecdotal insight… but at the end of the day the decision was personal, as it should be.
I 1,000 percent believe that people should make whatever choice feels right for them. Independent of external “noise” and opinions. That said, I do feel like the best way for us to collectively get on the other side of this is to do our part. Whether that means ultimately contributing to “heard immunity,” or continuing to do what you can to minimize the spread of the virus. I’m not entirely sure what “normal” even means, but I know for sure my normal won’t be one where I can’t see the ones I love - responsibly and with peace of mind.