Minding my mental…
May is mental health awareness month and I feel it is something that is so incredibly important not only as it relates to overall wellness, but also as it pertains to parenting. It probably goes without saying that if you aren’t able to keep up with the emotional, mental and physical demands of parenting then it can become that much more challenging. So I regularly try to keep all of the above in check… heavy emphasis on the “try”.,.
Over the past year I have been extremely in touch and in tune with my mental health. Possibly because so many more people were being transparent about their struggles last year… but primarily because I wanted to feel “better” overall. I wanted to feel more in control of my emotions and my responses to certain… stimuli if you will. Truth be told there were so many days I felt like a hot a** mess… (inside and out) because everything was… a lot. One of the reasons 2020 was so challenging for me personally was because all the things that triggered negative feelings and emotions had seemingly become inescapable parts of my daily life. Overexposure to negative news, FOMO, anxiety, doubt, lack of a social life, etc. etc. And while I’m not always in the best head space 24/7 (I’m not sure anyone is these days), these are some helpful reminders I try to keep top of mind… no pun intended. Lol.
1) Self-care is a non-negotiable - I have said it before and I will say it a million times. You cannot pour from an empty cup. It is imperative that you spend time doing something for you. Be selfish. Get your hair done, get a massage, get your nails done. Take a walk alone. Meet up with your friends. Go shopping and buy something for YOURSELF. Whatever it is, do it, and do it without guilt, and please, whatever you do, do NOT consider every day task self care. Cleaning, laundry, showering. Unless these things truly make you “happy” they don’t count. Lol.
2) Social media detoxes are necessary - While a lot of my challenges over the past year had a lot to do with my mindset, I couldn’t ignore the fact that social media also played a big part in those feelings. I started to pay more attention to how I felt when I got off social media, and more times than not I had negative feelings. I minimized my “wins”… I doubted my creative abilities… I let what others were doing discourage me from walking my own path. Yet and still I brushed those feelings aside and convinced myself social media was necessary - because how else would I stay in the know? How else would I grow my blog and following?
Before I even started my blog and my IG page I told myself I never wanted to get to a point where capturing a moment was more important than actually living it. I never wanted to feel handcuffed to the algorithms, I never wanted to feel obligated to do anything, and I wanted to stay true to the reason I started this in the first place which was to help others - even if it was one person. I say all this to say that as of late I have been minding my mental. I added a social media limit on my phone and initially I ignored the reminder EVERY.SINGLE.TIME. it popped up but as of late, I’m nowhere near the limit and I have no desire to be. It’s honestly so freeing. I’m less and less apologetic about “missing” things on IG, Facebook, or wherever (if it’s that important I’ll find out the old fashioned way - you know - a phone call or text. Haha!) I blog and post when I want to, not when I’m supposed to. And I feel so - empowered. If you have never tried a social media detox, or limiting your time on social media I would strongly encourage you to do so and take note of how you feel as a result.
3) Be sure to talk to someone - God, a friend, your spouse, a counselor, all of the above. Having someone to talk to that actually listens is critical. Don’t talk to someone who only listens to respond. Talk to someone who listens to understand. Who can empathize or sympathize when appropriate. Who can help when you need it. And know that it’s okay if that person isn’t who you expected it to be. Sometimes the people closest to you are the last people you might need to vent to.
4) Always have someone who can check in with you - Everyone needs someone who ask “are you okay?”… And someone who doesn’t even need to ask. Lol. I can’t even begin to recall the number of times I asked someone “how are you…like… really?” over the past year and change. Because ish was hard. Really hard. For a lot of people and for a number of reasons. I feel like everyone was close to the edge at one point or another and it was important for me to speak up when I saw it in others - and be honest if/when they saw it in me.
5) Set boundaries - This is easier said than done but take a good look at what you have on your plate and figure out what can go. Last year I grew a new found appreciation for the ability to do less. I realized how much I loved having an excuse to do less. My weekends weren’t jam packed. I wasn’t constantly on the go. I wasn’t filling every second of the day with a task or another to-do item and it felt amazing. I realized how important this is, but I also realized that I shouldn’t need an excuse to do less - I simply need boundaries. I need to feel okay saying "no,” even if it’s “just” because I need a weekend to do nothing at all. :)
Like I mentioned, I’m not saying I’m “perfect” when it comes to incorporating these tips into my daily life, but they are definitely things I am working on and trying to do more regularly because mental health is THAT important. So let me know below if you have done any of the above, and what are some of the ways that you are “minding your mental”?