Protect and provide…
My husband and my father are both Virgos…
Their birthdays are four days apart… and while I typically don’t read too much into astrology, it’s pretty hard to discount it when I think about just how many similarities they share.
Regardless of whether or not I have astrology to thank for gifting my husband with some of the amazing qualities he possesses, I can say it was my father who gave me the blueprint of what a quality man, husband, and dad should look like.
When my husband and I first started dating, I was 21 and I naively thought I had “it” all figured out…
In actuality what I had was an idea of what life was “supposed” to look like. The linear path that I was “supposed” to follow in my pursuit of lifelong happiness and that of course included my idea of what a “good father” looked like…aka my own father.
Before meeting my husband I had never really articulated to anyone (including myself) what I wanted in a future husband, let alone the future father of my children and I’m almost embarrassed to say that this exercise (of really digging deep and explicitly identifying the qualities I thought a husband and father should possess) was one I only recently completed. And was prompted by an episode of Married at First Sight (my guilty pleasure). Fortunately for me, I never had to do this…
I was blessed with a man who had everything I thought I wanted, and all of what I needed. And when our relationship grew into a marriage, and our marriage embarked on the journey of parenthood, I literally watched him grow into a role it seemed he was destined for.
I’m not really one to “gush” on my man on the internets lol but I truly feel men, black men in particular, need to be acknowledged and praised for doing a damn good job at fatherhood because there are so many reasons why they are expected not to.
Every year on Fathers’ Day I reflect on the role my father, and my father-in-law, played in influencing both my husband and I during our early childhood years. They led by example. They embodied what it meant to protect and provide - and they did so in ways that left a lasting impression on each of us.
I’m so grateful that my husband puts his family first in all he does. That his drive is fueled almost entirely by his want and need to provide for - and protect - his family. That he is selfless and beyond content so long as his family is good… that he continues to become an even better version of himself, and that he makes a choice almost daily to do so.
If there is someone in your life embodying everything you hoped and dreamed of in a dad, thank them. While we continue to grow even more aware as a society of some of the challenges of “millennial mommyhood”… I think we would be remiss not to consider the dads. While they may not remember the dates of all the doctors’ appointments, or school events, they are often emotionally and mentally consumed by the incomprehensible responsibility of protecting and providing for their family - which circa 2020 - we see is not a responsibility most would be equipped to take on.