oh hello peer pressure…
Peer pressure is a tricky little bugger… even though most of us can recall a time or two during our childhood when we were asked by a parent, adult or elder “What would you do if so-and-so asked you to jump off a bridge”? it hardly ever presented itself that overtly. In my 30+ years on earth, no “friend” has ever asked me to do anything remotely close to jumping off a bridge. But I understand it’s an extreme example to illustrate that the consequences of your decisions can be detrimental in one way or another.
That said, I have, on many occasions, found myself on the short end of peer pressure without even realizing it had happened. “Helping” with an assignment, staying out later than I knew I should, skipping class, etc. etc. Thankfully I never was persuaded to do anything that followed me for life (and thankfully this was mostly pre-social media LOL)… BUT… I most certainly suffered some consequences in the short-term.
As a child - we might call it peer pressure, or bullying, depending on the circumstance. As we get older, it’s most often referred to as “influence”… regardless of the title, it usually affects us due to a lack of boundaries, perhaps some insecurity, or maybe our innate nature to be “people-pleasers.”
The last couple weeks my husband and I have had multiple convos with our oldest about peer pressure. He is a super sweet kid. Always wants to keep the peace, and generally just goes with the flow. Unfortunately, it has put him in a bad spot a couple times, and he has been the one who had to deal with the consequences.
All in all, our oldest has been an easy kid. I think we took for granted just how long he would “always” be the one to “do the right thing,”because up until recently… he pretty much has. But I also think I was blissfully naive to the fact that he truly hasn’t been in a ton of situations where peer-pressure would even be a “thing'“ considering he was in virtual school for a year and a half, and only recently started hanging out without me being a helicopter mom. I mean - supervising. HAHAHA!
Boundaries are tricky, and as a recovering people pleaser, it is something I am constantly working to get better at establishing and maintaining, so in full transparency I’m giving him grace and empathizing with him in terms of how challenging it can, and will continue, to be.
For now we are just reminding him that he has to be a leader, think for himself, and also consider the consequences of his actions regardless of how he got there.
That said, let me know in the comments below if you have had any peer-pressure situations with your kids and if so, how you have navigated them!