the mental load…
Question… do you feel you carry more of the mental load in your household (aka the invisible tasks that usually equate to a never-ending to-do list)? If so, have you thought about ways to lessen it?
Recently I shared a post on Instagram about all the wonderful things my hubby does… the cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. etc. It was a much-deserved appreciation post, because I recognize how amazingly supportive he is, and how wonderful we work together as a team.
As far as household tasks are concerned, I think we have found a good rhythm and are good about divvying up the tangible things that have to get done day-to-day.
Where I struggle, is with divvying up the cognitive tasks, also known as the mental load, that are a part of running a household. Remembering sign-up deadlines or registration dates, making appointments, planning trips, the birthdays, the school clothes, fundraisers, spirit weeks, etc. When I comment on these things, my husband usually responds with “I’m happy to help, just tell me what you need”… and that is true. He is always *willing* to help BUT… assigning tasks is still work that often defaults to me (and many other moms/women). It’s one of the reasons why one person in the home may seem “more” stressed or overwhelmed than the other, even if on paper the household tasks are divided “equally”…
I recognize that a large part of my issue is relinquishing control, but I recently started thinking through ways to get some of those invisible tasks off my plate, including – sharing the to-do list. At the moment I am the one creating it and organizing all the “things” that need to get done on any given day or week, so technically this is still something I am “managing,” but my husband has full reign to take care of any items he is able to. Believe it or not, having him take care of tasks – big or small – has actually made a difference, and I think over time and with more open communication we will get to a place where we can alternate who creates the list. 😊
So, let me know below, do you divvy up the mental load in your house? If so, how?