Did you know black women are three times more likely to die from a pregnancy-related cause than white women? This is due to a number of reasons - access, quality of care, resources, underlying conditions, etc. - but more times than not… the outcome is preventable with intervention.

A while after having my twins I read the stories of two young black women who unfortunately lost their lives from pregnancy-related causes. One of which was the result of low platelet counts. That story in particular hit close to home… like sick to my stomach close… and made me realize how blessed I was to receive the care I did during both my pregnancies… but especially while pregnant with the twins

New parent exhaustion is a whole different level of exhaustion. Period.

Without a doubt sleep (or lack thereof), and breastfeeding, were two of the hardest parts of early motherhood. Considering the fact that eating and sleeping are all new babies do, those first few months were hard… AF. But I learned a lot along the way. So much so that I made it over a year exclusively breastfeeding both my oldest son and my twins. And was able to get them to sleep - through the night and in their own rooms - from around 6 months old…

The “terrible-twos” times two, are… something.

I’m not sure if I completely wiped my memory of this chapter with my oldest out of my mind… or if it is just the fact we have two toddlers at the same time, but the “terrible'-two” stage is no joke this time around.

I LOVE the fact that my littles are gaining their independence more and more each day, and that their little personalities are blossoming.

…we set a goal of getting rid of the pacifier altogether by two. And then… that came and went. I psyched myself out into thinking it would be some long drawn out, awful situation because that is what people kept telling me. So I wanted to perfectly time the process. Why I think there is a such thing as a “perfect” time is beyond me… but I did. I decided it would be the new year because the twins are “supposed” to be starting daycare soon (more on that later - sigh), and I don’t want her there with a pacifier.

Anyhow - it has been about a week and I think I can safely say we did it. Successfully. So I’m sharing what we did for anyone interested! :)

A week into school and my husband and I decided to pull our son out, and tackle virtual learning with him… again. Despite my optimism that this year would be… different… it took a handful of class shutdowns within the first few days for me to realize that wasn’t the case… unfortunately, having to constantly operate in flux is something that just doesn’t gel well with my type-A, semi-control freak self. And when I feel lost in “all the things” I try to focus on what is in my control to keep me somewhat sane - hence the decision to keep my son home - at least for now.

I always had one boob that was a champ… always wanted to show off when I fed or pumped lol…

For each breastfeeding journey it was my right side which regularly gave me ounces like this during pump sessions… 😬😳

People close to me used to joke I was a milk machine and honestly production was (fortunately) never an issue for me…

Even still the overall commitment to breastfeeding was a lot - mentally, physically, and emotionally. Thankfully I felt supported by my family, friends and employer, and felt like I had everything I needed to keep going - technically speaking.

I can’t even begin to recall the number of times people have told me all about how my kids - especially the twins - will be the best of friends as they grow up. I have heard it from just about any and everyone - people with twins of their own, people with no children at all, people with children close in age… etc. etc.

When I was pregnant with the twins I imagined a tight-bond would happen with them automatically because ummmm they were literally sharing a womb… and I pictured my oldest doing all the big brother things with them… innately. This image of “the three best friends that anyone could have” warmed my heart… But when I started thinking about some of the sibling relationships I have seen firsthand, and even the relationship I have with my younger brother, I realized healthy, positive relationships weren’t based on how close kids were in age or the fact that they may have shared a roof together for years - but are actually a little more involved than that.

It’s so easy to get “lost” in motherhood.

To get sucked in by ALL THE THINGS and all the responsibilities that motherhood brings along and then suddenly wonder what the hell happened to you? You know… the “real you”… the one that is cool… and fun… carefree and laid back… the one who doesn’t need to buy “cool mom” merch to convince yourself you are one… but who actually believes it (<-ahem… this last one is personal… 🙄…).

From the minute I found out I was pregnant with baby number one I was determined not to get lost in mommyhood… I was always going to be dope… mom or not… I wasn’t going to miss a beat.